Blank verse, blank mind#

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 23:41:24 +0000

I found this in a notebook while I was tidying up. Judging from the reference to Newfoundland, I assume I wrote it in the summer of 2000 when I flew there on holiday.

I'm not proud (if I were, obviously I wouldn't be posting it). I just think some of the puns are bad enough to be worth preserving

SCENE 1 : A plane, somewhere near Newfoundland

|Prologue: Hail, Gentles all, and welcome to our flight. We respectfully commend our safety video to your sight.|

|1st Passenger: Have we not armrests and seatbacks? And digit may prevail against digital TV| |2nd Passenger: Tis true. Mayhap it showeth Frasier, or cartoons purchased from the BBC| |3rd Passenger: On Channel 2 the film is dross| |2nd Passenger: The rest also; to miss it is no loss| |Omnes: Twice around the video spool / Can any of't be watched at all?|

|2nd P: By the pricking of my thumbs, plastic chicken this way comes| |1st P: Dinner calls | |2nd P: Who wrote this anyway?| |3rd P: anon| |Omnes: There is fowl, and foulest fare, Ascend the broken cloud - attain thin air|

|Pilot: Once more we set ablaze the seatbelt light: rejoin your pews, enfold yourselves in clasps of metal bright| |Be not afright: for tho' we pass through turbulent fields, our radar speaks sooth - all this will pass in a moment|

...

|I must arise and do those things that are needful. I guess I drank too much orange juice|

The Lords sit in their thrones in Business Class
Accustom'd to command as troops to drums, they bid the flight attendants with their thumbs
And ruminate on State affairs, foretold by complimentary newspapers
I wish I'd brought a book
Yet e'en we the commoners are plyed
With shortbread (French) and cups of plastic and of iced water
I still wish I'd brought a book
Maybe I could read the inflight magazine again.